Improv Announcer

The following was picked up from a taping of a Harold set and appears to be the voice of a well known sports announcer. I’ve transcribed it here for posterity but have kept the identity of the speaker anonymous. The exclamation points and other punctuation are based on my own judgment.

It looks like the Harold is about to start. An audience member tosses out a suggestion, and it’s received by the team’s host. Nice catch! They’re jumping into the opening with a quality character paint, and oh my how they can paint! It looks like someone is switching out of that paint into a monologue. The rest of the team is standing around in a semicircle, silently, obediently watching.

And it looks like they’re breaking off into Beat I, Scene 1. Two performers have walked onto the stage with space objects. They haven’t named what those objects are yet, but it looks like they’re in an alleyway. What a clever use of the opening! Oh, and they’ve established strong characters with a relationship and a power dynamic! At least one of these characters is coming back; I’d bet my life on it.

Oh, and a swipe edit into Beat I, Scene 2. Two different players are walking on. I don’t get this one. Strong characters, but where’s the connection to the opening? Oh no! Someone is tagging someone else out in the first beat. The audience is laughing pretty hard, though. And it’s a tag run in the first beat! Harold? More like a Montage!

And now they’ve broken into a group game based on the second scene. This is highly unorthodox. No one even asked a fellow teammate to get in there, but they all got in there, anyway.

And now… hesitation? Hopefully they’re trying to find a way to call back Beat I, Scene 1, and get back on track now that they’ve clearly veered from protocol. Okay, two players are coming in for Beat II, Scene 1, and… they’re calling back Beat I, Scene 2! The audience continues to laugh hard for some inexplicable reason. What happened to those Beat I, Scene 1, characters I wanted? Oh my my my. Wait, is that one of them trying to connect it back to Beat I, Scene 1? Nope, it’s just an edit.

And they’ve gone into another group game. The entire team is getting into it, and they look like they’re having fun. Someone must have forgotten to tell them what a Harold is supposed to look like! There’s more audience laughter, and it’s getting a little unhinged.

Wait! What’s this? Someone is telling me to shush; my comments are apparently distracting from the performance and the putting team members in their heads. Well, isn’t that precious? People need to know the truth, so I will not let myself be censored!

Okay, I seem to have missed something. All the performers are staring in my direction. One of them is leaving the stage area with a space object in her hand and walking over to me. She’s right in front of me now and talking. Oh, it’s one of the characters I wanted called back from Beat I, Scene 1. Finally! She’s holding up her space object now, pointing it right at me; it kind of looks like a gun…

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